Hello . . . . . Goodbye

“Happy trails to you, until we meet again.”  Ʊ Dale Evans

The Beatles recorded a song in the 60s that included these lyrics: “You say hello, and I say goodbye.” ‘Hello’ and ‘goodbye’ are words frequently spoken and heard in our daily lives. Leaving our homes to go to work or school, we say goodbye to other family members.  In the first few seconds of seeing someone for the first time on any given day, our greeting is “Hi,” “Hello” or “How are you doing?” 

As we come and go throughout life, there exists an endless cycle of greeting, parting and then greeting the same people again. So frequently we experience these daily moments that they are all but routine.

When we are apart from the people we normally see daily, we pay more attention to the hellos and goodbyes.  If my wife is going on a week-long business trip, then the ‘goodbye’ is more significant.  Or, if she has just returned from that same trip, the ‘hello’ becomes more special.  It could be any family member departing on a week-long journey or event.  The hello and goodbye seem to mean more in these moments. Do they not?

Month-long events may evoke even more dramatic and special hellos and goodbyes.  We only need to be present at the local airport during the arrival of a flight to witness these special instances.

If we need any more evidence of the specialness of hello and goodbye, there are the first and last expressions.  No explanations need be made for the way families act at the sight of a newborn.  It is uniquely extraordinary!  And, still special in a different way, is the final ‘goodbye’ for a departing family member or friend. The ache and pain within our hearts describes it all.  If you were not present at the passing of a friend, you will forever remember the last goodbye you exchanged with that person. You will play this over and over in your mind, attempting to extract any special meaning. Has this ever happened to you?

Ask someone who has lost a loved one what they most miss about that person? You likely will not hear them mention the big and dramatic moments, which casual acquaintances and outsiders may remember. Often, you will hear them say they miss the daily things shared with the departed. The simple moments . . . . a greeting in the morning, saying goodnight before retiring, or passing each other during the day, are considered as treasured memories.  The greetings and partings we may take for granted rise to a special level for someone who has lost someone they love.  Is there not something of value that can be learned from those that have had such experiences?  I strongly believe this is so.

If you live another 10 years, you likely will say hello and goodbye 100,000 times.

One hundred thousand times! Some of us, because of job or business, will experience a much higher volume of these moments.  A person who is in school may have endless encounters each day. So much a part of our daily routines, these moments may seem ordinary at first glance.

Why engage in something 100,000 times and not do it well?  Why not take advantage of the frequency of a common daily practice and use it as a contribution to others, as well as enhancing our own lives?

All of us, often unintentionally, have developed some practices that have become consistent habits in how we greet others and how we say goodbye. We may not even be aware of how we do this. Somewhere along the way, we made choices in our journey, repeating those choices again and again until they became habits. If we are going to establish a habit, why not benefit intentionally?

As we traverse on our particular path, we are going to encounter scores of people. Carved into our daily environment, within our regular routines, are countless ‘hellos and goodbyes.’ If relationships are a central cornerstone to success, as I unequivocally believe, our first and last moments each day with the important people in our lives are huge. Do you agree?

How do I handle a greeting? Determining factors include relationships and the current circumstances. Being supportive, while expressing understanding, love, comfort, encouragement and help, are some of the varied goals that describe my approach. My first words are usually ‘hello’ followed by something positive. I will add humor when it is appropriate. I will usually ask if the person is having a great day. I consider listening to be the most important and first consideration in a greeting. It is no longer surprising to me what people will share if you are willing to listen. Handshakes, eye contact and body movements are effective non-verbal ways to communicate. They are essential and probably the most important element in a greeting. The other person will detect your sincerity and posture in genuinely caring about them by your immediate non-verbal communication.

How do I say goodbye? Usually, I will project a sentiment related to our conversation. My final words are positive, i.e., “Have a great day!” “Have a great week!” If someone is working on a special project, I will wish them well regarding the current project. If I can help them in some way in achieving their goals, I encourage them to reach out to me. If they are getting ready for a long trip back home, I will always give them a ‘safety’ message. Once again, the non-verbal is important in the ‘goodbye.’

The greetings and departure messages I offer are always based on the exclusive relationship I have with each person and the pertinent circumstances. Because life involves change, my approach must also change.   What is my overall goal? To sum it up, I want to be a ‘difference-maker’ in the other person’s life. The central question is, exactly what does the other person need from me? How can I effectively give them what they need? How can I communicate my answer in conversation with that person? Know this one observation – the person will remember how we greeted and parted.

In my philosophical quest of making a difference, I have noticed that this position has hugely affected my own life. We absolutely cannot do this well without the effort having a positive impact on us personally. That positive effect will reliably make us more successful. And, my frequently repeated mantra is that success is being and becoming the best at what we are meant to be and do in life.

If someone told you that you will have 100,000 opportunities during the next 10 years to make a difference in the lives of the people who surround you, wouldn’t you want to know? What if all of those moments could impact your own life in a significant way? What would you do?

Where shall you begin?   Hello! Goodbye!